So, as you might’ve noticed, I’ve been having computer trouble for a while – I had to stop my writing streams because of it, and it’s been getting worse and worse until Thursday, when my laptop completely shat the bed and died. A dear dear friend has offered to build me a new computer, but I have to pay for the parts – a total that comes to $877.07
Now, what some of you might not know is that I’m disabled and on a fixed income, and if I only pay rent and don’t pay any of my other bills whatsoever, I could save the money up that way, and it would still take me until April – I’m sure all of you understand why that’s not actually a viable option.
So I’m asking for help.
I’ve gotten a ko-fi thing; there’s a link to it in the description on my tumblr, but I’m also putting it here: https://ko-fi.com/amaronith
If you want something more tangible for your help, I’ll write fic on commission, pricing and such can be discussed via email: amaronith@gmail.com
I’ll also make hats and cowls at $30(USD) each, or $40(USD) for a set, but as I will be using yarn I already have, the colors are a toss up – I can keep in mind any color preferences you might have, but again, I am only working through what I already have in stock. I work primarily in acrylic and acrylic/wool blends, and I live in a house with three cats, so please keep these things in mind if you’re going to go this route. if it helps in your choice any, I have 25 years of crocheting experience behind me.
Thank you all so much – every little bit will help!
It’s a time for giving, peeps. Help out someone that needs it! If there’s anyone that is deserving, it’s ama.
Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away… An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat’s funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x]
For those who haven’t read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god. She’s now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station.
Beautiful.
Now I’m crying thanks
and a new cat was hired right?
yep! her name is Nitama (essentially ”second tama” or “tama II”) and she served under Tama as an apprentice before being appointed her deputy
she works very hard
Everytime this crosses my dash, I reblog. It is the law.
Round Two of posting writing despite a severe lack of interest!
*crawls back into her cave to cry*
Good news. We’ve had growth! Instead of no reblogs on a fic link, we now have one, folks, count ‘em, one!! reblog on a fic link that’s been up for over twelve hours on a blog with thousands of followers! *claps happily* Hey. Growth is growth. At this rate, by the time I’m 80 years old, I might even break *10* reblogs on a fic link. What a day that shall BE. Here’s hoping!
*When his mom said “Stay away from that old Massassi Base, there’s something off about it.” He should have probably listened
*He did not.
*In his defense, it was *right* there and multiple hanger bays were still intact that were just asking to be explored. How was he supposed to know there was a karking Sith Temple underneath it??
*Naga Sadow is a surprisely chill guy (I’m sorry, Freedon Nadd who? Don’t know him), for an ancient half-Sith that’s been in a suspended animation for thousands of years. Turns out he has to be though, since all his mastery of Sith alchemy turned out to be useless when his Massassi slaves abandoned him to the ruins of his temple and all the muscles in his body atrophied due to improper care. Of course he’s gonna be chill to the kid that wakes him up. Who else is gonna get him OUT OF HERE.
*Poe does not take him out.
*Sadow eventually comes to the conclusion that he might die here. Time to train an apprentice.
*Poe is a terrifyingly good Sith. He’s even more terrifyingly good at *hiding* it. Natural shielding ability to die for. Even when Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker themselves visit, they never notice it.
*Ben Solo does, though, when Luke brings his apprentice by. It’s subtle, but he knows. Poe can tell. He almost decides to kill Solo over it, until he reaches out in the Force and sees that there’s darkness in him, too. A little smudge of it. So Poe goes *shrug* might as well just leave it.
*Ben ends up following him back to Naga Sadow. Promptly demands to know what’s going on, Naga says the impolite Sith equivalent of ‘fuck you’, and Ben kills him.
*This was the first moment Poe Dameron realized that Ben Solo was an asshole.
*They both come to the mutual understanding that Luke and Leia don’t need to know about this. They part ways, and some years later Poe hears about how Ben slaughtered all the students at Luke Skywalker’s School for Gifted Youngsters. He isn’t surprised.
*After Naga’s death, Poe is at a loss. He’s technically a Sith Lord now by default? What’s he supposed to do? Take over the galaxy? Go see if there are some more Sith in other temples around?
*He decides, fuck it. Might as well join the Resistance. He thinks Leia is cool anyway. His parents did it, why not him?
*But there is the problem of his lightsaber. He doesn’t want to leave it, but he can’t have it on his belt. So he gets a little droid that’ll carry it for him. BB-8 is the best companion a Sith Lord could ever ask for.
*That awkward moment when he’s caught by the First Order and has to awkwardly act like he couldn’t kill them all with a thought. Ben shows up, and he’s Kylo the Wannabee Not-Sith now. Attempts to pry stuff out of Poe’s mind. Poe almost dies laughing because he *sucks at it*. It’s like someone trying to dig through a duracrete wall with a rubber shovel.
*Kylo finally gives up, goes off to stew. Makes sure to put a Force dampener on Poe so he won’t escape, Poe is like ‘Well great’ when a RESCUER shows up. And Poe didn’t even have to Mind Trick him!
*And oh kark, his rescuer is cute.
*He’s **really** cute.
*Shit, Poe has a crush. Shit. Shit! Are Sith Lords supposed to have crushes? Oh eff.
HEY HMMM,,,, H O W D A R E.
I hope u have many things lined up or I MIGHT CRY BC THIS IS TOO AWESOME FOR ACTUAL WORDS????
also
poe ur gay. ur very very gay sith lord and it’s amazing
i thought you guys would find this thread i wrote interesting
this is a very real problem! and unfortunately, something similar happens to people of color and adults as well. always try and tie it down to something else when, in fact, the disorder has been clearly present the whole time. it’s so damaging.
When I saw this post on my dash, it kept disappearing every time the site finished loading. It had nothing to do with my blacklist extension, all evidence of this post on my dash vanished. I had to go to the blog of the person I’m reblogging it from DIRECTLY.
If you can see this post at all, even if it’s for a split second, try and like it and reblog it! Don’t let this post be hidden!
I think the particular kind of “goodness” that my mother aspired to – that so many of our mothers aspired to – is not actually goodness at all.
Her concept of goodness was a person perpetually sacrificing everything important to her for the comfort of others, even with no acknowledgment or thanks.
The perfect person, to my mother, was gracious in the face of cruelty and had bottomless wells of love to give even if none was given back. Her only joy should be the knowledge that she had given and given and given, her only triumph over those who would hurt her should be a quiet, unspoken sureness that she Had Done Right.
This is not goodness. This is not something a real, living person can safely try to achieve, I think. This is what you attempt to become in order to survive brutality.
This is a recipe for the perfect victim, the victim who has made herself so small and given so much that there is now, finally, no reason to abuse her. This is the image cruel people would have us try endlessly to become, so they can more easily take and violate and control.
They want you to be not just meek, but the kind of person who strives always to be meeker. Someone they no longer have to bully into anticipating their wishes, because you have not just honed this skill but made it your life’s purpose. They want you to see your fury and bitterness and self-pity and desire to escape as faults to be overcome, instead of valid reactions to being hurt and controlled and taken advantage of.
It’s a way to survive what you can’t escape, and in that situation alone it has value. Even in that situation, though? This ideal can never be achieved, even if you somehow destroy every shred of self-respect (anger, desire to escape, etc.) you find in yourself. You can never be the perfect victim. There will always be a “reason” to abuse you, even if you are careful not to provoke, because the reason was never you. Abusers like to abuse.
Trying to be the perfect victim broke my mother, and it’s fucked me up pretty badly too. I wish I could go back in time and warn her. I wish I could tell her:
You cannot give endlessly; no human can, and you shouldn’t have to. It is not a virtue to suffer endlessly. It is not proof of love to allow someone to destroy you.
You deserve someone who doesn’t expect your suffering as proof of love. You deserve someone who gives back joyously, who feels your pain as part of their own and hates to cause it. You deserve to be surrounded by people who value you and all you think and want and are. You have worth. You deserve respect. It doesn’t have to be like this.
That. Right there. Is both me coming to term with this kind of abuse — and it’s also a big part of Rus’ story.
backup blogging platform 