eskiworks:

eskiworks:

Rude comments are not a new thing, content creators get them all the time.  Whether it’s a backhanded compliment, something overly creepy, unsolicited critique, or someone just being a straight up troll.  I do my best to mitigate those comments within my power to do so, but in the end it’s out of my control.  The responsibility is on the commenter, not the content creator.  For me, that sometimes discourages me from putting out certain kinds of content.  I deleted a piece off of tumblr recently because of one such comment, and because I was subsequently chastised for saying I didn’t want those kinds of comments.  I won’t upload personal memorial artwork because of a particularly vicious troll who commented on a portrait I did of my grandmother shortly after she passed away.  I currently don’t host auctions online because of the venomous reaction people have when bidding gets high.

So what SHOULD a content creators do when faced with comments they don’t want?  Should we let people say things that make us feel bad to avoid upsetting others?  Should we block that person?  Should we say “hey please don’t speak to me that way”?  It can be hard because some of those behaviors from watchers are hurtful and angering.  It’s tough to avoid responding from a place of anger.  The best thing I’ve learned is to wait before responding, and bounce my wording off a friend or two to make sure I’m being fair. 

But we are allowed to put up boundaries.  And how we choose to put up our boundaries is entirely up to us.  I’m perfectly allowed to ignore you if you speak to me in a harmful way.  I’m also allowed to tell you what you said is rude or unwanted.  I’m allowed to block you if you have a clear history of saying harmful things to others. Content creators pages are NOT public forums.  When we put up our personal boundaries in our spaces, we are not infringing on your rights in any way.  We are managing our spaces in the way we see fit.

I originally wrote this a few weeks ago when I witnessed an artist whose work I enjoy defend their choice to call out a transphobic comment on their work. They made that choice because that comment was harmful, and they are putting up a boundary.  It doesn’t matter of the person “meant well” when commenting, or included a compliment with their statement.  I’m posting it now because I am seeing a friend and admired artist get chastised for being “aggressive”, aka putting up a boundary for themselves on their page.  At least in my sphere, I see this happening a lot more frequently, and it’s not ok.

tldr; If you say something harmful to someone, you aren’t owed tolerance or a teaching moment.  People are allowed to say no.

Reblogging for the evening crowd