narutoheretic:

so are we talking about our headcanons for stuff happening after 699 because

(team 7 edition)

  • Sasuke wanders, but specifically he goes to hang out in Ame for a while. He learns about the old days of the Akatsuki and sits around very seriously listening to local legends and when he figures out he can control the weather a bit, he stops the rain for them on Sundays. He moves on, in the end, but he’ll return there many times in the future (he likes the quiet, the neon lights, the rain and the memories and how it’s a scarred land always healing)
  • Sakura moves in with Ino because Reasons and everyone’s pretty sure they’re dating but they also go after other people
  • honestly polyamory’s the name of the game for the new generation, whether it’s Sakura living with Ino and flirting with Hinata or Naruto being kind-of-married to Gaara but ditching everything else to hang out with Sasuke whenever he wanders back to the village nearly everyone has a few different relationships
  • Sasuke does eventually acquire a daughter. somewhere. nobody really knows how. He sticks around Konoha for like a year when she’s a baby and then takes off again. he’s the most overprotective dad ever but honestly he has his reasons
  • kakashi gets therapy. all the therapy. and goes on a road trip with Gai and stops visiting Obito’s grave and definitely does not become hokage.
  • Sai –  well, nobody is exactly sure what Sai does for a while, until Sakura finally asks him outright where he’s vanishing once a week and he’s like ‘um, root? we’re figuring stuff out, don’t mind us’
  • yamato needs a lot of hospital time. and he does not let the fact that he had to sit in a zetsu-stew for half the war go easily. “Yamato we don’t have the time to -” “Zetsu. Stew. For days.” “fine”
  • also he grows out his hair again

gallusrostromegalus:

thebisexualmandalorian:

scotchtapeofficial:

scotchtapeofficial:

i thought succulents were supposed to be the easy do-nothing plant thats impossible to kill but these fuckers are WAY more difficult than all the beans i had to grow in high school. wtf

a normal plant: just fuckin stick it in the sun and give it water. lookin malnourished? nourish it. stuff like blight, aphids, and spider mites are easy as fuck to diagnose and treat.

a god damn succulent, apparently: only likes dry aerated soil mixtures and barely any water ever and lots of indirect sunlight but no direct sunlight and sometimes they just start to look rotting and crinkly and mushy which either means theyre overwatered or underwatered or the soil’s retaining too much moisture or they’re just sad about living in your shitty house. will become naked and die for no apparent reason. you fucking suck

also fucking succulents: throw a rotten dead leaf from 1964 on a plate and watch it spring back to FUCKING life, i guess. 

@variative

Succulents are from deserts and if they’re not Suffering ™ in EXACTLY the right way they give up and die.

Beans, on the other hand, are Alexander The Great-Level conquerers that will literally strangle other plants to get thier way.

Naruto AU where it’s just a normal slice-of-life series, except Sasuke acts exactly the same way as he does in the original.

theirisianprincess:

Kakashi: So, what y’all dreams for the future?

Naruto: I wanna be the student council president. And be respected by everyone in this school!

Sakura: Well, I…

Sasuke, sulking in the corner, his fingers interlocked with each other, both palms facing downward, covering his mouth in deep contemplation: I have my ambitions. I shall restore my clan. And there is someone I have sworn to k i l l.

Itachi, in the distance: I went to Disneyland without you one time!

For the Shifting Sands ‘verse title idea: “And He Who Bears the Eyes of Chaos” (for when Shisui first begs the gods to help him stop Madara)

a-nb-u:

Shisui is a prince, and that should mean something. It should give him some sort of leverage, but here in front of the Gods, it means very little. 

Shisui is on his knees and he feels so powerless. He is completely at their mercy. He is so, incredibly small in their eyes. 

“I cannot stop Madara on my own,” Shisui says. Madara needs to be stopped if they ever want to keep the world as it is. “Please, I need your assistance.” 

Wadjet slithers over to him and sticks her face in his, her tongue flicking in and out. She blinks at him, beady eyes seeing more than Shisui could ever hope to see. “I am a guardian of the Royal Family, how am I supposed to protect them if you are asking me to kill one of them?” 

Ma’at strides forward, keeping a short distance from them both, but her glare is still just as fierce. “You know why he has to ask,” she says. “If we do not do anything, then Madara will destroy all that he touches, and there will be no order, no law, only chaos.” 

Wadjet sighs and takes a moment to look at Shisui a moment longer. “I know,” she hisses. “I will help, but that does not mean I have to like it.” She turns back to shisui and much softer, she says “I can feel how much pain and suffering you are enduring.” She slithers away, her massive body as graceful as ever. 

Ma’at doesn’t move, her presence is a terrifying force to be reckoned with, just like all the stories told. The one to judge whether one’s soul is worthy to descend to the afterlife, Shisui can’t help but feel he is been judged right now.

 Ra stands in the distance, looking upon the scene with emotions that Shisu can’t decipher. “Now, now,” he says and looks around the area, locking eyes with every god. 

“This child does not come bearing news that we were not already aware of.” He blinks down at Shisu. “Incredibly brave of you to come to the gods, little one. Has it really come to this, have you lost faith in mankind?” 

Ra, the God of the Gods, demands an answer and Shisui’s hands tremble minutely. But Ra is terrifying in every way. No other god is like Ra, and Shisui is nothing but a human.

“I was refused by all of my brothers,” he says. 

Wadjet hisses in distaste and Shisui flinches. It’s understandable that the Gods are upset that Shisui is the only member of the royal family to act, but regardless of that Shisui still loves his brothers, and unfortunately, still loves Madara. 

Kagami does not possess the ability to care for anything beyond the young forest dweller, the man called Tobirama. Sai has been dead for years since he revolted against their mother’s execution, Obito remains indecisive and therefore completely unhelpful. 

Despite his love for them, Shisui is alone. 

Osiris growls from Ma’at’s side. “It seems we don’t have a choice then? So what are we doing? It seems this Madara person thinks he is greater than the Gods.” 

Ra holds up his hand and silence descends on them. “Shisui, we will kill Madara, however, you are the only one who will be able to prevent Madara from ever rising again, as your brothers have all refused.” 

Wadjet hisses out something that Shisui doesn’t catch and Osiris closes the gap between them. 

“To do this, you must never die. Osiris will make this possible. Do you accept?” 

Osiris’ hand is inches from Shisui’s face, glowing with a power that will supposedly make him immortal and he doesn’t want to say yes. He wants to live out his life, die like every prince before him, and travel to the afterlife to live in peace.

But no such future awaits him. The path that he has found himself on is one of pain and suffering. But Madara cannot win, and that outweighs Shisui’s personal feelings. What Shisui wants doesn’t matter. 

“I accept,” he whispers, and his throat burns and his eyes tear up. He doesn’t want this. Osiris’ palm settles against Shisui’s forehead, cold with the absence of human life. 

The light burns brighter and for a moment Shisui feels nothing before his entire body burns like a fire, every part of his body freezes up, muscles tensing so hard it is as though they might snap. 

His entire body burns, and Shisui can do nothing but scream. 

Shisui Is Tired Let Him Rest

For the Shifting Sands ‘verse title idea: “And He Who Bears the Eyes of Chaos” (for when Shisui first begs the gods to help him stop Madara)

a-nb-u:

Shisui is a prince, and that should mean something. It should give him some sort of leverage, but here in front of the Gods, it means very little. 

Shisui is on his knees and he feels so powerless. He is completely at their mercy. He is so, incredibly small in their eyes. 

“I cannot stop Madara on my own,” Shisui says. Madara needs to be stopped if they ever want to keep the world as it is. “Please, I need your assistance.” 

Wadjet slithers over to him and sticks her face in his, her tongue flicking in and out. She blinks at him, beady eyes seeing more than Shisui could ever hope to see. “I am a guardian of the Royal Family, how am I supposed to protect them if you are asking me to kill one of them?” 

Ma’at strides forward, keeping a short distance from them both, but her glare is still just as fierce. “You know why he has to ask,” she says. “If we do not do anything, then Madara will destroy all that he touches, and there will be no order, no law, only chaos.” 

Wadjet sighs and takes a moment to look at Shisui a moment longer. “I know,” she hisses. “I will help, but that does not mean I have to like it.” She turns back to shisui and much softer, she says “I can feel how much pain and suffering you are enduring.” She slithers away, her massive body as graceful as ever. 

Ma’at doesn’t move, her presence is a terrifying force to be reckoned with, just like all the stories told. The one to judge whether one’s soul is worthy to descend to the afterlife, Shisui can’t help but feel he is been judged right now.

 Ra stands in the distance, looking upon the scene with emotions that Shisu can’t decipher. “Now, now,” he says and looks around the area, locking eyes with every god. 

“This child does not come bearing news that we were not already aware of.” He blinks down at Shisu. “Incredibly brave of you to come to the gods, little one. Has it really come to this, have you lost faith in mankind?” 

Ra, the God of the Gods, demands an answer and Shisui’s hands tremble minutely. But Ra is terrifying in every way. No other god is like Ra, and Shisui is nothing but a human.

“I was refused by all of my brothers,” he says. 

Wadjet hisses in distaste and Shisui flinches. It’s understandable that the Gods are upset that Shisui is the only member of the royal family to act, but regardless of that Shisui still loves his brothers, and unfortunately, still loves Madara. 

Kagami does not possess the ability to care for anything beyond the young forest dweller, the man called Tobirama. Sai has been dead for years since he revolted against their mother’s execution, Obito remains indecisive and therefore completely unhelpful. 

Despite his love for them, Shisui is alone. 

Osiris growls from Ma’at’s side. “It seems we don’t have a choice then? So what are we doing? It seems this Madara person thinks he is greater than the Gods.” 

Ra holds up his hand and silence descends on them. “Shisui, we will kill Madara, however, you are the only one who will be able to prevent Madara from ever rising again, as your brothers have all refused.” 

Wadjet hisses out something that Shisui doesn’t catch and Osiris closes the gap between them. 

“To do this, you must never die. Osiris will make this possible. Do you accept?” 

Osiris’ hand is inches from Shisui’s face, glowing with a power that will supposedly make him immortal and he doesn’t want to say yes. He wants to live out his life, die like every prince before him, and travel to the afterlife to live in peace.

But no such future awaits him. The path that he has found himself on is one of pain and suffering. But Madara cannot win, and that outweighs Shisui’s personal feelings. What Shisui wants doesn’t matter. 

“I accept,” he whispers, and his throat burns and his eyes tear up. He doesn’t want this. Osiris’ palm settles against Shisui’s forehead, cold with the absence of human life. 

The light burns brighter and for a moment Shisui feels nothing before his entire body burns like a fire, every part of his body freezes up, muscles tensing so hard it is as though they might snap. 

His entire body burns, and Shisui can do nothing but scream. 

*pterodactyl screeches*

I need to Art For This fUCK U arojekdn,

Another Hokage!Kiba piece

a-nb-u:

I’ve gotten a bit stuck on the Hokage!Kiba thing (which is up to 32k!) so I thought I’d post another snippet in hopes it motivates me!!

Basically, this is Kiba’s first B-rank. 

Kiba breathes out a puff of stifling air and his hand clenches around what’s left of his flak jacket and he needs to move.

Of course Kiba’s first B-rank mission would blow up in his face. 

Sora’s scream tears through the air and Kiba presses his face into the dirt. She writhes on the ground, covered in so much blood that Kiba can’t tell where she’s bleeding from. He can’t differentiate between what blood is hers and what isn’t.

Kiba reluctantly peels himself from the ground, ignoring every screaming muscle and the pounding in his head.

They failed this mission.

Kiba freezes as his eyes find Takara’s body. His arm is missing, a deep slice running from just below his left breast to his right hip, Kiba can see sliced, mutilated organs and bile rises in his throat.

Takara’s eyes look up at the sky sightlessly. Dried blood and vomit cover his chin. Sora screams again, her voice tearing through the air with senseless pain and no understanding that she needs to shut up.

Kiba pulls himself upright, catches a whiff of Takara’s bloody and vomit covered corpse and knocks his probably broken leg against a stone and he falls forward again, landing on his hands and knees. Akamaru’s mouth grips his jacket, pulling and growling at him to get up. 

Bile burns his throat and Kiba’s shaking hands can only just stop him from falling into his own vomit.

Sora screams again and Kiba clamps his hands over his ears as tears roll down his face.

Kiba can barely stand, there’s three dead Iwa-nin littered around them and it could be a fluke that they can into them, but it could also mean that the bastards expected them. If that’s the case, then they were walking into a suicide mission before they’d even left Konoha.

And Takara is dead. Takara is dead.

Sora won’t stop screaming.

Kiba coughs and slowly pulls himself upright and staggers over to Sora’s form, Akamaru nudging him along. She twitches and sobs, her eyes open but glazed over in delusional pain.

“Shut up,” Kiba hears himself say, but it sounds far away. She groans in response and it’s too loud. They’re in enemy territory. They’re the opposite of safe and she won’t be quiet.

“Stop it,” Kiba hears himself say. “We need to go.” Akamaru is by his side but Sora is going to get them all killed anyway because she’s too loud.

Sora doesn’t react. And Kiba wants to scream, he wants to lay down and never get back up. They failed this mission and they are a long, long way from Konoha.

Kiba looks back at Takara and knows he can’t carry both of them. For a moment he considers leaving Takara there, but a very cold, logical part of brain riots at the idea. Leaving a dead Konoha-nin in in the Land of Grass with three dead Iwa-nin will cause drama Konoha doesn’t need. 

Kiba fishes out rope from where it’s sealed in a scroll and drapes Takara over Akamaru’s back, mumbling apologies all the while as dark blood drenches Akamaru’s fur. Kiba ties Takara’s hands together, as well his legs, and ties the remaining bit of rope around Takara and Akamaru’s torso. It’s crude, and still leaves room for slipping but they’re out of options. 

They’ll just have to make it work. 

Kiba hobbles around the area, almost tripping over the body of an Iwa-nin and picks up all their Konoha issued weaponry.

They failed their first B-rank mission, but Kiba’s not going to leave traces of Konoha literally laying on the ground.

Sora moans again like she doesn’t have any more energy for screaming but Kiba still flinches at the noise.

He can’t see any more weapons, so he walks over to Sora and throws her over his shoulder, feels blood soak his flak jacket and he blinks through sweat dripping into his eyes.

Kiba steels himself. And Kiba runs.

@2nduzukage​ @ammo121​ @gay-trans-leo​ in case you’re interested?? 

Hello I am hurting so I need to Share The Hurt