It’s up for debate for romantic potential, but here’s some Fun Florist Experiences:
1) Roses come in massive human sized coffin boxes. I have accidentally knocked two people flat on their asses hauling these puppies around.
1.1) actually flowers come in massive Unhelpfully overpacked boxes in general. Most are at least 3-4 feet tall/long. A lot of places can keep this to the back but if not BOXPOCALYPSE. It’s not sexy
2) Flowers are lovely and light but the buckets of water they suck up to survive is heavy. My beefy biceps are no joke.
2.1) my gross dirty nails and thick callouses. Flowers are full of dirt and pollen and roses are thorny…my calluses are No Joke. I also always have tiny cuts on my hands in the places that haven’t calloused up yet.
2.2) I smell great because flowers but also I am always kinda damp and there is water every where. I know there is pollen on my face please shhh
2.3) seriously stay away from my work counter, behind this beautiful set of arrangements is three inches of shed leaves and a small lake.
3) Pinterest’s fucking mason jars…tiny flower arrangements in mason jars are like crack…FOR FATHERS. Dads love mason jar arrangements. You know what my favorite thing is??? A dad with a tiny little girl picking out a cute jar of flowers for her. Equally cute is the dad with little boy who is shy about liking flowers.
4) ask me how many people say “ah yes, my bouquet just needs A WOMAN’S TOUCH.”
5) what businesses are around this hypothetical flower shop AU? Because there is a hospital within walking distance and I know ALL ABOUT the petty wars between two head nurses, and Amy just leveled a power move and bought 96 roses to hand out to all the patients in her ward. Karen responded by buying mason jar arrangements for all the surgeons.
6) gay dudes (tbh men who actually love their SOs in general) are On Top of this flower business. They call the arrangement in advance, check if they’ve got a vase ready, buy one if they don’t…price is no object. They just want something nice and they’re so patient!! I love these guys, they’ve always got something nice to say about their SOs too. Love is real.
7) “hi I didn’t water or feed these flowers and they died in two days. I want my money back because you said they’d last a week.”
Me: >B|
8) weddings: the amount of money we will make is directly proportional to the amount of pain we will suffer
9) When I see a middle aged mother with a pinched face I know Tru Fear.
10) when I see a middle aged man in a casual suit and a big watch I know Tru Annoyance.
THINGS PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO WITH FLOWERS:
-how pretty they are
-how full the bouquet is
-how much they have to care for it
-PRICE!! People want deals and cheap.
-That One Flower That Is Out Of Season That They Won’t Get When It’s In Season
-how long the bouquet lasts!!
-COLORS!!
THINGS PEOPLE DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO WITH FLOWERS:
-what the flower means.
-the huge huge huge barrel of flowers we always have to throw away because preserving pretty things is hard when the pretty thing is dead.
THE GREAT FLOWER CIVIL WAR:
-Pro or Anti Baby’s Breath???(we’ve lost good people over this one)
–
Uhhhhhhhhhhh that’s stuff that happened this year so far….some flower shop AU logistics:
Is your OTP coworkers? Probably always on other ends of the store during busy times, because flowers involve a surprising amount of running around in coolers, boxes, customers, etc. water has to be changed, plants need more water…you’re mopping up water so ppl don’t trip. It’s a pretty busy job. Places are different and you can have downtime but the time your otp will have to talk and bond will be when one is a customer, in my experience.
Parents who bring their kids are so cute tbh!! Most kids are so polite and awed about the flowers and won’t touch!! Super cute. An otp with one as a single parent is a GOLD MINE of fluff because they’ve got teachers to get flowers for or first girlfriends or maybe OTP parent has a date and your florist wants to help like a lot!! But they also like this person…it’s good stuff.
I get involved with my customers, because they want you to Know Their Feel so you can help them. So helping people is almost always a Thing when they explain what they need and why, and you get repeat customers who are friends (or you want the latest dirt on Head Nurse Karen and to make a big sale to one up her….)
Continue from above, sometimes people know they’re supposed to Do Flowers for something and they just…don’t know anything and they want it to be right, and being able to show them the options and reassure them they’re doing good, and going that extra mile (with paper or vases or extra flowers for free or ribbon) for it to be pretty and nice….I love that. I had one guy who was so so nervous for the first Valentine’s Day with his wife come back with his friends who were also having trouble deciding stuff. One of them was so happy to get something nice he side hugged me quickly and then apologized.
We have repeat customers who come in all the time for stuff because of the above things! Of all the AUs I think a flower shop AU could work because you DO get a place to let people talk about their feelings safely and make friends with a wide variety of types!!
This ended up super rambly and long but I hope it inspires some people! Thank you for the ask!! 😊
“this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours”
Funny thing – a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children.
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) – she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did.
WHAT THE FUCk
This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.
There’s multiple cases of this very thing
Idk weird stuff man
Science doing random shit to fuck with your head
We don’t actually know how many human chimeras there are because most of the time you can’t tell.
However, some cases of intersex and even some trans individuals may be chimeras that result from the fusion of two embryos that have different genetic sex. This may also explain why some female athletes fail a sex test. (Other possibilities include genetic transcription that resulted in the loss of the SRY gene from the Y chromosome. The SRY gene is the actual switch that results in the development of a male phenotype).
Chimerism is also seen in animals.
This is Dunbar’s Gold. As you can see he looks like a brindle dog.
At one point he was bred to a mare called Sharp One, who also had the same brindle pattern, in the hope that they could breed more brindle horses – which are vanishingly rare.
Both horses are Quarter Horses, and the breeder sent in a gene sample from the foal for typing to allow him to be registered.
The test showed that the foal was related to neither his sire nor his dam.
They even did the test twice. Most cases of failed genetic testing are a sample mixup (either the hair or the semen used to produce the foal).
It turned out Dunbar’s Gold had had to be tested three times to get a good sample – and the third time was a blood test not the hair follicle test normally done. On top of that, when they looked at his gene type again they realized something rather important to a stallion was missing – he had no Y chromosome.
It was eventually established that both horses were chimeras and that in Dunbars Gold two different gene types existed in his skin and coat (one male, one female, just to prove that happens). Each gene line had a different set of color genes, but both matched properly to his parents. His foals, of course, all matched to the male gene line.
When they tested Sharp One’s other foal they discovered she was producing eggs from both of her gene lines. (Something which could also happen with a human chimera).
Despite Twilight’s flaws I think we can all appreciate what Rosalie Hale did to her gang of rapists after she became a vampire
One of Twilight’s biggest flaws was always that um, how do I put this? It has these kickass supporting characters with these fascinating back stories and instead we have to pay attention to this truly boring couple instead of hearing about Jasper fighting in a vampire war, or Alice as a psychic girl in a 1920’s mental institution, or Carlyle as a vampire doctor trying to atone for all the murdering he did.
Or Leah as the ONLY BIOLOGICALLY FEMALE WEREWOLF IN THE WORLD, or that other vampire baby from South America.
Or pretty much anything beyond Bella and Edward staring at one another and crying.
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