Since we talking about american bread let’s also talk about american cheese cause that is nasty too

Several RL messes have collided at once, and it turns out I’m going to be off work for most of February. We’re also having to move to a new apartment with higher rent, so to make up the difference I’ve decided to open up 10 slots for writing commissions.

If you want to see a sample of the writing I’ve done, my AO3 account is here. I’m happy to write in any of the fandoms listed there, but also feel free to DM me and ask about any fandom you don’t see – if I know it well enough, I’ll happily take it on. I do reserve the right to refuse a commission, but I’m open to most requests.

Pricing:

1,000 – 1,500: $15
1,501 – 2,000: $20
2,001 – 2,500: $25
2,501 – 3,000: $30
3,001 – 3,500: $35
3,501 – 4,000: $40
4,001 – 5,000: $50

If you’re of age, I’m happy to take on NSFW requests. Given that smut is much more difficult for me to write, though, there will be a $5 fee tacked on to any explicit commissions.

As far as content goes, I’m willing to write most things, but not rape, any sort of sexualizing of minors, or vore.

Beyond those topics, feel free to make your request! I would prefer not to write OC/reader insert fics, because I can’t guarantee the quality, but if it’s something short I’ll do what I can.

Specificity is preferred when it comes to your prompt – it ensures I write something that you’ll be happy with.

Payment will be through PayPal, and full payment will be requested upon completion of the work. I would prefer to post completed works on my AO3 account, but if you’re uncomfortable with that I’m willing to email you the completed document instead.

Current number of slots open:

10

(If you’re not interested in commissioning me but just want to buy me a coffee or something, I have a Ko-fi account as well!)

GIVE IT A BOOST PEOPLE

That picture of Jiraiya with Orochimaru, Rogu, and Mitsuki makes me think of, like, what if Jiraiya’s genes were used with Oro’s in making the kids? And Oro just offhandedly telling Jiraiya something like, “Yeah, these are my kids.” “How?” “Made ’em. They’re also your kids!” And Jiraiya just being shocked before going all-in on parenting. Plus explaining to Tsunade: “I have kids.” “With your habits, I expected it sooner or later.” “…With Orochimaru.” “WHAT.–Pass the sake over.–Again, WHAT?!”

blackkatmagic:

xDD

Gai?

blackkatmagic:

First impression: UM. THIS GUY’S A NINJA?

Impression now: I would die for him, too good for this world.

Favorite moment: When he absolutely thrashed Madara after the entire shinobi alliance failed to.

Idea for a story: Gai and Kakashi swap! Gai gets Team 7 and fixes them with the Power of Youth.

Unpopular opinion: He’s sexy and rocks that spandex.

Favorite relationship: With Kakashi

Favorite headcanon: He got his way of speaking from reading too many of Kakashi’s Icha Icha books, and picked it up because Kakashi thought the romance novel heroes were manly and admirable.

For the character meme: Ino!

blackkatmagic:

First impression: loud but adorable

Impression now: BAE

Favorite moment: Pretty much the entirety of the 4th War

Idea for a story: I really, really want to write Ino taking over her clan like a badass and becoming head of T & I like her father used to be.

Unpopular opinion: As awesome as the other Rookie 9 girls are, I feel like Ino is the one most suited to being a shinobi.

Favorite relationship: Hmm. Either her friendship with Shikamaru or her rivalry/romance/friendship with Sakura.

Favorite headcanon: That she’s been in love with Sakura since they were children, and claiming she had a crush on Sasuke was out of jealousy.

Can you explain to me why people think Hinata, Kiba, and Shino are close to Kurenai? Because it’s baffling to me that the woman who passive-aggressively asked Hiashi to keep Hinata In The Kitchen, isn’t seen with any of them after the PRELIMINARY, and never held an on-page conversation with them in the ENTIRETY OF THE MANGA is viewed as their second mom. Sorry for the random question but I’ve just read the millionth fic with TeamMom!Kurenai and I’m so confused.

blackkatmagic:

Because she’s their jounin sensei, and because Team 8 gets so little screentime as it is that people can add in details. Also, I believe she’s closer to them in the anime? But a lot of it is fill-in-the-blanks stuff, since we’re given so little to go on as it is.

also because we’re Tired of Kishi treating female character badly and thought it was Time to keep one sensei being a positive and kind parent figure to their kiddies.
Or i mean, in my case really.