greenekangaroo:

So I got to hang with @disembodied-doll this weekend and I got an idea..

—

“He needs to stop.” 

“Who needs to stop what?” Hana asked. Itachi gave her his most level flat look, which seemed entirely neutral to someone who hadn’t known Itachi Uchiha has long as Hana Inuzuka had. 

Hana grinned and recapped her water bottle. “If you can’t handle the heat, Itachi.” 

“Stop it with your terrible old colloquialisms I am having a crisis.” Itachi said calmly. “Look at the weight area. Look at it.” 

Hana glanced over her shoulder. The weight area was sparsely populated at the moment. There were only two people there. The first, Kisame Hoshigaki, was acting as spotter for the second, Chouichi Akimichi, who was benchpressing. 

Hana took a moment to watch the ripple of muscle in Chouichi’s arms as he worked and let Itachi silently and subtly fume. Kisame was nice to look at, with a classic swimmer’s body-long arms, broad shoulders, and a trim waist. Chouichi was the embodiment of the tasteless yet accurate phrase ‘built like a brick shit house’. 

Hana had watched Chouichi rip a wall down barehanded at a charity house demo once because some dumb bastard bet he couldn’t do it. That’d won them a bottle of stoli and Itachi hadn’t been able to sit quite right for the rest of the evening. 

Itachi’s soft strangled noise brought her gaze back to him just as Kisame added more weight to the bench. 

“Four fifty?” She asked Itachi conversationally. 

“Four seventy five,” Itachi said with an odd squeak. “My god I want him to break me in half Hana save me.” 

“There is no help for you,” she said to him. 

“Then put me out of my misery.” 

“And miss this show?” She flicked her sweatrag at him. “Never. I’m gonna go grab an elliptical before the Ladies That Brunch get here. Try not to expire from the vapors.” 

Itachi told her to do something very rude with one of her three dogs and Hana threw back her head and laughed.