I’ve mentioned my favorite art history professor to @systlin a few times, but there’s one story of him that stays with me. So for you, Plant Aunt, I’ve crafted a tale of one immortal spitefully making sure another immortal finally gets his:
The running joke among David’s students is that our beloved professor is clearly an immortal. How else could we explain his small office crammed with illuminated manuscripts, Scythian and Mongolian bows, 3rd cent. Roman gladii, near-Eastern rugs and ancient swords? The way he sighed wistfully in class and told us how beautiful the Parthenon was when it was new and, “not just a damn tourist attraction”? It wasn’t uncommon for us to see him hefting a sword over his shoulder, leather trench coat flapping in the wind, flipping off the head of security who really should have stopped trying by now.
It was also a running joke that our favorite immortal just did not get technology. I worked at our Help Desk for all four years of college, and David would always request one of his students to come and fix his computer.
“This computer isn’t fast enough,” he told me once, polishing an enameled chalice. Google maps was still loading on the page, trying to parse the coordinates he entered. It was likely looking ten centuries too late. “It needs more of that RAM. Really. I could be soaring over ancient Rome like a bird!”
After repeat requests, he got a brand-new Macbook Pro, which he promptly abandoned for his antique slide projector.
“I just don’t get the new technology,” he shrugged. “You can’t get the feel of things.”
That was the only sentiment he shared with his nemesis.
talk to me about knights who can go around bashing peoples’ heads in but specifically choose to try and debate bad guys into submission instead
really though. a knight who’s famous throughout the kingdom for ridding it of Dark Lords and Unjust Tyrants. she is lauded as a hero and everyone assumes she’s the incarnation of justice with a sword.
one day there is a new bad guy. he is holed up in his Evil Fortress waiting for the knight to inevitably show up. however, what the rest of the kingdom doesn’t know is that he is the best swordsman on the continent. there is no way the knight will defeat him, and he knows it.
she arrives at his fortress to find him smugly slouching back in his Throne Of Darkness. “well?” he asks. “here to duel?”
“no,” she says, dropping a huge pile of papers that weigh as much as a small dragon on the table. “i’m here to tell you how trying to take over the kingdom is the worst idea you’ve ever had. let’s start with your background in necromancy and complete lack of education in civic duties. how do you expect to run this country? here is a list of the current foreign issues were are facing and how you are completely unequipped to deal with them. stop trying to back out of the room, i’m just getting started. how do you expect to deal with a court full of nobles trying to undermine you at every turn if you can’t even hold up an argument with one knight? sit your ass back down”
ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
Hey! I’ve had some issues with drawing interest so I’m tweaking some of my prices. I hope this will get more people interested in commissioning me in the future.
backup blogging platform 
