honestly my favorite new phenomenon is the haiku bot coming in at the end of super serious posts. it’s like watching a supervillain come to a crushing defeat and then getting run over by a roomba.
The haikubot does not detect actual haiku. The artistry of haiku is that every line contains a thought or image that can be separated and still understood with the poem as a whole coming together to form a bigger idea or image.
The haikubot just detects sentences of 5-7-5 syllables and calls it a day. It’s an insult to the art form. Reading an actual haiku can be a spiritual experience.
You sound like a damn elitist bastard from the school of snobbery
you sound like a damn
elitist bastard from the
school of snobbery
^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
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Contact: thathaikubot@gmail.com | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Beep-boop!
Tag: mkaiww

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.
THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!
I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!
I’m convinced bc I reblogged this on Friday, got hired at a job I had a million interviews for, went on a first date that went well, and got kissed a billion times so like hell ya to the luck cat
Things nobody ever tells you about female bodily functions, so you have to google it to find out it’s perfectly normal:
Vaginal chemistry being acidic enough to bleach your black underwear.
wait… so *that’s* what happens?!?
I THOUGHT IT WAS STAINS NO WONDER THEY WEREN’T WASHING OFF
holy shit i was so embarrassed about this
PSA for any vagina owners who did not know, I can see how that might be concerning
Ugly Privilege is being the ‘relationship expert’ when your friends are going through relationship issues and you got no experience with romantic relationships
Ugly Privilege is knowing your partner likes you cuz you goofy and your personality is a 10/10 and not for your looks
Ugly Privilege is being used to rejection because yo ugly ass aint surprised, given the odds
Ugly Privilege is not being hit on all the time and not having random people slide into your DMs while you tryna mind yo own business
Ugly Privilege is having a longer battery life, since ya know… nobody’s sliding into your DMs and blowin’ up your phone cuz you posted a selfie
Ugly Privilege is saving that money and spending that money on yourself and nobody else cuz yo ass forever single
Ugly Privilege is having your partner not worry about you cheatin’ because who else wants yo goofy ugly ass besides your partner?
half of yall pretty af and shouldnt be reblogging this.
for yall average-lookin folks, yall can reblog this but you on thin ice, ya hear me?? THIN. ICE.
IN CASE YOU FUCKS HADN’T HEARD, A NEW COPY OF TABLET V OF THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH HAS BEEN FOUND, CONTAINING SOME PRETTY FUCKING GREAT NEW SHIT.
THIS IS A REALLY FUCKING EXCITING THING, BUT OF COURSE NOBODY SEEMS TO GIVE ENOUGH OF A FUCK ABOUT MESOPOTAMIAN SHIT TO ACTUALLY REPORT THIS ANYWHERE SOMEONE MIGHT SEE IT.
IT’S REALLY FUCKING COOL. TRUST US.
yesssssss
and I guess this makes the Gilgamesh fandom the winner in the contest of who had the longest time between updates…
Reblogging for that last comment.
shoutout to nonbinary people whose native language is heavily gendered!
to the ones who speak a language which doesn’t have any gender neutral pronouns at all!
to the ones in whose language there technically are some gender neutral pronouns but they’re hard to use because the language is heavily gendered and you need to create new forms of other words to use them, or because they mean something like “it” and you’re uncomfortable with them
to nonbinary people in whose language adjectives or verbs are gendered!
to nonbinary people who can’t talk about themselves in their language without having to misgender themselves or create new words (and sometimes also grammar rules!)
shoutout to nonbinary people who speak heavily gendered languages, it’s hard, I know, but I love you and I see you and you’re so strong

A loaf of bread made in the first century AD, which was discovered at Pompeii, preserved for centuries in the volcanic ashes of Mount Vesuvius. The markings visible on the top are made from a Roman bread stamp, which bakeries were required to use in order to mark the source of the loaves, and to prevent fraud. (via Ridiculously Interesting)
(sigh) I’ve seen these before, but this one’s particularly beautiful.
I feel like I’m supposed to be marveling over the fact that this is a loaf of bread that’s been preserved for thousands of years, and don’t get me wrong, that’s hella cool. But honestly, I’m mostly struck by the unexpected news that “bread fraud” was apparently once a serious concern.
Bread Fraud was a huge thing, Bread was provided to the Roman people by the government – bakers were given grain to make the free bread, but some of them stole the government grain to use in other baked goods and would add various substitutes, like sawdust or even worse things, to the bread instead. So if people complained that their free bread was not proper bread, the stamp told them exactly whose bakery they ought to burn down.
Bread stamps continued to be used at least until the Medieval period in Europe. Any commercially sold bread had to be stamped with an official seal to identify the baker to show that it complied with all rules and regulations about size, price, and quality. This way, rotten or undersized loaves could be traced back to the baker. Bakers could be pilloried, sent down the streets in a hurdle cart with the offending loaf tied around their neck, fined, or forbidden to engage in baking commercially ever again in that city. There are records of a baker in London being sent on a hurdle cart because he used an iron rod to increase the weight of his loaves, and another who wrapped rotten dough with fresh who was pilloried. Any baker hurdled three times had to move to a new city if they wanted to continue baking.
If you have made bread, you are probably familiar with a molding board. It’s a flat board used to shape the bread. Clever fraudsters came up with a molding board that had a little hole drilled into it that wasn’t easily noticed. A customer would buy his dough by weight, and then the baker would force some of that dough through the hole, so they could sell and underweight loaf and use the stolen dough to bake new loafs to sell. Molding boards ended up being banned in London after nine different bakers were caught doing this. There were also instances of grain sellers withholding grain to create an artificial scarcity drive up the price of that, and things like bread.
Bread, being one of the main things that literally everyone ate in many parts of the world, ended up with a plethora of rules and regulations. Bakers were probably no more likely to commit fraud than anyone else, but there were so many of them, that we ended up with lots and lots of rules and records of people being shifty.
Check out Fabulous Feasts: Medieval Cookery and Ceremony by Madeleine Pelner Cosman for a whole chapter on food laws as they existed in about 1400. Plus the color plates are fantastic.
ALL OF THIS IS SO COOL
I found something too awesome not share with you!
I’m completely fascinated by the history of food, could I choose a similar topic for my Third Year Dissertation? Who knows, but it is very interesting all the same!
Bread fraud us actually where the concept of a bakers dozen came from. Undersized rolls/loaves/whatever were added to the dozen purchased to ensure that the total weight evened out so the baker couldn’t be punished for shorting someone.
Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.
THIS IS IMPORTANT
When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).
I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.
Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable – ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.
Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.
DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.
Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.
VERY IMPORTANT!!
“your clothes look gay” yeah? i sure hope so. because my clothes ARE gay. if im wearing them, they’re gay. gay by association.
They came out of the closet this morning what did you expect?
That’s a joke you can tell your grandmother. That’s so cute.









