So many Pro-Spanking advocates talk about how they “Deserved” to be hit by their parents because they were “a bad kid.” And it makes me so sad.
You weren’t.
You weren’t a bad kid, and you didn’t deserve to be hit. Maybe you were a difficult kid, maybe you struggled with boundaries or rules or expectations. Maybe you had bad behavior much of the time. But you, yourself, were not and are not a BAD person for that, and you didn’t EARN violence. You didn’t have it coming. It shouldn’t have happened to you.
Someone’s kids are spoiled rotten little fucks who don’t know how to behave in public or at home. There have been many attempts to successfully pull spanking from parenting in recent years as the post modernist mentality hit that realm. But there is a reason is it a tried and true part of parenting because there is a balance to achieve between rewards and punishment. Some parents are too liberal with spankings and others won’t even hold it in reserve for the worst of behaviors. New age parenting is incomplete because it only looks at half of the nessisary puzzle to raise your child. If you look at studies previous to the 90s you find that spanking was beneficial, but when the post modernist echo chamber started impacting psychology this flipped to reject all classic knowledge as is a trend with post modernism as a whole.
And all of these are post 1990. Did you even read what I said, or simply get triggered by my statement so quick you just replied.
The first one explicitly says that its built off 50 years of collected meta data. Soooo.
And Also “This science is too recent” is an interesting methodology. Like…that…isn’t how sociology works.
also, the main reason nonviolent parenting styles haven’t worked isn’t because you need violence to parent, it’s because the various methods never actually address the problem.
we have this weird idea that consequences are the best deterrent to bad behavior, but that simply isn’t true. If consequences- be it spanking, a time out, losing your video games, going to jail, etc- are the ONLY THING keeping you from doing something bad, you’ll more than likely do it if you think you can get away with it. or, alternatively, you’ll be so afraid of consequences that you’ll be mentally incapacitated at the slightest hint that someone is upset with you, killing your social life and any chance to learn the skills you need to handle that situation.
what actually stops being from misbehaving is understanding WHY they shouldn’t do something. and “my house, my rules” doesn’t cut it as a reason; there needs to be an understandable reason. sometimes it’s an inherent consequence; you can’t put a cookie in the ps2 because then the ps2 breaks and you can’t play video games anymore. sometimes it’s a moral reason; you can’t hit your sister because it hurts her and makes her upset. sometimes it’s a social reason; grandma will think you’re rude if you drop a hard boiled egg in her water glass.
you need to actually talk to your kid and help them understand these things with whatever level of reasoning they have. and if they’re too young to be reasoned with, they’re too young to understand why you’re hurting them.
another issue is that many times, the child does understand why they need to be better, but they’re unable to. bad grades are a huge example of this. getting spanked for a bad grade never made me do better, it just made me cry so hard i choked every time i got anything below a C. it took until highschool, with no help from my parents or teachers, to realize that the reason i was failing was because i had memory problems, and it took another year to figure out how to remember better. if my dad had sat down and taught me some ways to remember better instead of putting me over his knee, i would have been doing much better.
and this may surprise you, but the reason we’re finally understanding that spanking DOESN’T benefit kids is because we’re finally looking at them as people, not pets or property. child psychology is about understanding that this is a human being with all the same capacity for feelings that you have, maybe even more, and not nearly enough resources to express them. children aren’t little monsters that need to be herded and corralled and trained. they’re very tiny, very confused people, and it’s our responsibility to teach them how life works.
Seriously, stop hitting your kids! Just last night I saw a dad smack his daughter(probably no older than 1) on the back of the head because she accidentally knocked a water cup onto the flour. She didn’t understand that, all she knew was she got smashed. Stop fucking hitting your kids.
Spanking your kid for doing something bad Isn’t bad. If you hit your kid for something like spilling water then that’s bad. Displine is needed but abuse is not okay.
This idiot claiming we have to look back before the 90′s for evidence. Have you ever written or read an academic paper? You literally aren’t allowed to use evidence that’s more than 10-15 years old (depending on the area) BECAUSE IT’S OUTDATED AND THINGS CHANGE.
Like damn, we used to think being homosexual was a mental disorder, and if you look at studies from before the 70′s that’s what you’d find but we learned and now know that’s not true.
my parents spanked me as a child when I did bad things (stealing from my brother, hitting my brother, lying to my parents) and they would spank me with a paddle, of course I hated it because it hurt but they never hit me so hard that it left bruises only so it was red. I deserved my punishment, no I was not a bad person but it was a punishment and it told me that this was wrong and that this was the consequence of my choices. After my parents were done spanking me they would tell me that they loved me unconditionally and that they were trying to show me that what I did was wrong. spanking really helped me and I think it was the only thing that would have taught me not to do wrong.
“My parents taught me that I deserved to be hurt, and that the people who loved me hurt me out of love” doesnt sound like a good thing, frankly.
Can someone who’s good at photoshop make the “Stop hitting your child, asshole” panel like 100 times bigger?
My parents also spanked me, but it would escalate to more of “she’s going to hit me because I am horrible/bad for having feelings or using my brain”. And it would go from spanking to hitting me in the face, throwing things at me and so on and so forth. I thought that violence and pain was a result of me being a horrible terrible and inhuman person. I was taught that I was always wrong and should doubt everything I believed I could do because if I didn’t look so far ahead I’ll end up with getting beaten. It’s part of why I blamed my anxiety on my mother. She used to taunt me and my sister with a wooden spoon which she comedically drew a smiley face on and would scream at us waving it around and threatening us. She would make us go get it and bring it to her to get our asses beat with. At the end of the day, it taught me to never question an adult, to always throw my feelings and beliefs to the side, and to allow someone to hurt me no matter.
tampons/pads marketed to young kids who just started getting their periods
should be a thing
wrappers with dinosaurs and planets and glitter and cats and sea creatures
make kids feel comfortable about something natural that happens to their bodies.
and for goodness sake
don’t sexualize it
No. Actually. Why do you need this? You don’t. Getting your period means you are starting to mature, which means you need to drive them AWAY from needless things like that. Also, you all bitch enough as it is about paying for these things, imagine how much more money companies will charge for those things? Or, maybe EDUCATE them, so they will already feel comfortable about it. Jesus fucking christ.
Tell that to ten-year-old me, who still hadn’t had the period talk yet in school. I was crying and freaking out because I thought I was dying. Then my mother comes up to me and says with a smile “You’re becoming a woman!” I didn’t want to grow up yet. I was ten. Fucking ten and was told to start to grow up. My mom wanted me to get away from silly little kids things because I’m fucking bleeding out my goddamn vagina.
Also some people are children at heart and like to be silly and having a dinosaur-patterned maxi-pad would be pretty fuckin’ hilarious and I’m sure there’d be a huge market for that.
Not all people with vaginas are stoic and serious and want the same frilly, swirly boring-ass pads and tampons.
Plus if you’ve been having a miserable day and say you bought the character variety pack of pads. Sitting in the bathroom stall wanting to stab everyone and you open up some baby dinosaur pads. You’ve got dinosaurs in your underwear. No ones gonna ruin your day now.
U by Kotex has these, Tween pads. Sparkly box, cute designs on the pad and wrapper. There are even “period facts and myths” in each box, and the inner wrapper has instructions for how to use a pad properly. What’s more is they are smaller than standard pads. (I use these pads because I’m a petite person). Best part? Everywhere I buy them, one box of pads is less than $5.
^^^^^^^ THESE ARE THE BEST BTW. VERY SOFT AND FUN AND COLORFUL. DID YOU KNOW THAT EVEN SEEING PRETTY COLORS CAN LIFT YOUR MOOD? I DIDN’T. NOW I DO.
BUT REALLY THESE ARE THE BEST OK
BECAUSE WHEN MY TEN-YEAR-OLD SISTER GOT HER PERIOD SHE WAS SUPER SCARED BUT I GAVE HER MY PACK AND SHE’S LIKE THIS LOOKS KINDA COOL AND NOW SHE THINKS SHE’S SO AWESOME AND COOL BECAUSE SHE WEARS COLORFUL PADS WITH SHOOTING STARS AND HEARTS ON THEM AND SHE’S SO CONFIDENT IT’S SO AWESOME
SO YOU TRY TELLING ME THAT SEEING A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL DEPRESSED AND ASHAMED OF A NATURAL BODY FUNCTION IS PREFERABLE TO SEEING HER SHOWING OFF HER UFO AND SHOOTING STAR-PATTERNED PADS TO HER BFFS
YOU WOULDN’T GIVE A FOUR-YEAR-OLD BOY A BORING BEIGE BAND-AID NO YOU’D GO OUT AND BUY THE HECK OUTTA THOSE SPONGEBOB AND TOY STORY SHITS BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM HAPPY DON’T MAKE YOUR GIRLS GROW OUT OF THINGS THAT MAKE THEM HAPPY BEFORE THEY’VE EVEN LEFT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Ok but U by Kotex has got all of our backs. This brand dose great and empowering things for all women and even girls 🙂
Why are people with vaginas expected to be grown ass adults at 10 but people with dicks aren’t expected to act like adults until their 20’s??
Also Party in My Pants makes dinosaur pads! You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy them. 🙂 They also frequently have designs with spaceships and cartoon cats/animals and other cute stuff!
If companies can make brightly colored and glow-in-the-dark condoms for grown-ass people with penises, then companies can sure as hell make colorful and fun-themed menstruation products for young people (and all people, young or not) with periods.
“You’ve got dinosaurs in your underwear. No ones gonna ruin your day now.“
Seriously especially the dinosaur ones. I want fucking dinosaur pads. That would have made it so much easier for me as a kid cause my mom said the same thing “you’re becoming a woman!” All these frilly girly crap pissed me off as a kid.
Being trans..yeah that makes sense now. Beside it’s boring and it should be marketed to trans boys and trans men too, giving fun design and and fun wrappers.
does anyone else get really uncomfortable when having to do stuff in front of other people? like even normal things like writing or something? i’m just so used to screwing things up because of my inattention problems that i’d rather be by myself when it happens again u know
Ok but no joke this is literally part of what makes my daily life so hard, if someone else is in the room and it’s not someone I’m like ten thousand percent comfortable with then I’ll feel like they’re watching every little thing I do and thinking about what a screw up I am like to the point that even just cooking around my family is so stressful
This is pretty typical of people who’ve been criticized a lot as children, especially by relatives. It gives us a kind of ‘performance anxiety’ as soon as anyone watches us do anything.
Like, I share the reaction to being watched while I cook too, and that’s because I was always criticized while I cooked as a kid and teenager, and if my own mother is around while I cook , to this day, I get anxious and wish she would go away because I’m always anticipating criticism about how I do anything and everything in the kitchen.
When I was a kid, my father got so mad at me because of how I was passing the vacuum that he literally ripped it out of my hands and very aggressively swung it around while hissing at me :’‘No, not like that, like this! IN. STRAIGHT. LINES.’‘ And since I had always known that he has a volatile temper, this sort of thing was terrifying, because I had no idea if he would get even more aggressive…
Its a survival tactic to want to avoid being watched, because it triggers our instinctual fear of being seen or watched by predators in the wild that our ancestors learned the hard way. And our brains react to being watched by other people the same way it reacts to being watched by a dangerous animal.
Before you get mad at your partner for not doing what you expect them to do, Stop and ask yourself “have I ever communicated to them that I have this expectation?” If you have not, it’s unfair to expect them to read your mind.
So many arguments are saved by just opening your mouth and saying “hey hun, in the future can you….” Whether its articulating how you like to be loved, supported, or communicated with, you have to open your mouth. Your soul mate (IMO) isn’t the person that just always knows what you need when you need it without you telling them. Your soul mate is the person who hears your needs and thinks “I have no problem doing that because I love this person with my whole heart”
So check your attitude and open your mouth. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
We’ve all seen that Gothel makes Rapunzel come to her for hugs, but today I realized it goes deeper than that. Gothel doesn’t want Rapunzel showing physical affection unless she has been given specific permission. Opening her arms is that unspoken permission.
For example, towards the beginning, when she’s reminding Gothel that it’s her birthday tomorrow, she grabs her arm in exuberance. Gothel is put out and then pries Rapunzel’s hands off her arm, all the while pretending she doesn’t remember (or care) that her birthday – something Rapunzel is extremely excited about – is fast approaching.
She also uses Rapunzel’s need for physical affection, deliberately taunting and “teaching” her with it by pretending to offer it, then taking it away immediately.
The first bazzilionty times I saw this movie, I always assumed Rapunzel was relieved to see Gothel towards the end of Mother Knows Best just because she was scared.
But now I realize it’s not only because she’s scared, but because Gothel is now giving Rapunzel permission to seek the creature comfort of physical contact that she so desperately needs after the gamut of fear she’s run.
Eugene, on the other hand, starts showing physical affection as soon as he starts feeling any affection for Rapunzel at all. He uses it as a comfort. Yet Rapunzel keeps her hands to herself.
It continues when he gives her the little flag, touching the small of her back in an affectionate way. But her hands (and attention) are full at this moment.
In fact, the first time she realizes she’s touching him, and he’s touching her, and there’s affection and enjoyment buzzing between them, she’s the first to pull away.
She’s alarmed at first, then apologetic and sheepish. Sorry I was touching you, Eugene. And he politely takes a step back, tuned in to her discomfort and giving her a little more space.
But that is why the moment on the boat is so important, and why Rapunzel has the reaction she does.
In taking Rapunzel’s hand, out of the blue (as far as she can tell), it’s sending her a clear message that he feels the same about her that she does about him, and that physical affection is both alright and wanted. That he will seek out her attention in a way Gothel never has. And from this moment on, she touches him often, holding hands for the rest of the song, brushing his hair from his face as he lay dying, and never letting go of his head, even after he’d died in her arms. Not to mention kissing him when he lives again, holding hands on the balcony while they wait for her parents and end-of-movie smooching.
Bruh.
ouch my heart
Mother Gothel was such a great villain because she was so realistic
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