Robes are stupid. My sorcerer dresses like Petyr Baelish.
To expand: if you are a mage, dress like a noble. Do not dress like a wizard. Pointy conical hat and sky-blue robes is medieval semaphore for “kill first and with extreme prejudice.” Tailored black silk over cloth-of-gold and studded with rubies says “Harmless, but valuable; ransom if possible or kill last.”
If you dress like a noble, they’re not going to pay attention as you take a turn or two to back away from the melee and prepare yourself. The ruse is only broken when you reveal yourself, at which point 8d6 fire damage is screaming toward them at Mach Fuck anyway, so no big.
counterpoint: if you don’t get to dress like someone ran a magical thrift shop through a rototiller and frankensteined the pieces back together what’s the god-damned point of being a wizard
This is something I’ve been meaning to talk about, and I may do a full blog post at some point, but here’s a capsule version:
The Benign Violation Theory of humor, which is probably the best one out there, suggests that something is perceived as funny when it is simultaneously perceived as violating how the world “should” work and as benign. Something like the “gun” meme, for example, is funny because it violates our sense of how a joke should progress, and at the same time it’s harmless.
Racist/sexist/etc shock humor violates our sense of how the world work–in either a “that’s not true!” or “you’re not allowed to say that!” way–and therefore whether you find it funny is based on whether you find it benign, which is to say either you think it’s harmless or you don’t care about the people it harms. (This is the root of the punch up/kick down distinction–jokes that punch up are funnier than jokes that kick down because the people they target are less vulnerable and therefore less likely to experience harm.)
So yes, science agrees that if you think racist jokes are funny, the reason is that you don’t care about the feelings of the people the joke is about. There’s a word for that.
yes i am? i literally am? my entire personality is a disorder. how i react to any situation i am in is influenced by my disorders. all my interpersonal relationships are heavily affected by my disorders. what i choose to eat for breakfast and what i choose to wear for the day is a product of my disorders. i am literally my disorders. don’t you dare take that away from me.
while I know that to some people establishing a clear separation between them and their disorder is a way to cope, this right here? this, is very, very important.
have you ever thought about human wlw discovering a millennium worth of asari media
never mind the alien gender concepts, but just the way asari are in the games, which is technicolor space babes
not only are there libraries full of books and poetry that are written pretty much exclusively by and for queer women, but also the movie culture, rom-coms and action flicks alike, all starring queer women
ngl that is the most wholesome, pure thought I’ve had today and on and off I spent the whole day thinking about it
okay, but asari aren’t women. this is a canon thing. explicitly. it’s stated several times in unavoidable dialogue: asari are not women.
“pretty much exclusively by and for queer women” no. asari are not women.
asari are not women, stop referring to them as such
have you ever given so few fucks about queer women that you’d get this pissy over a purely technical distinction between them, and a community of fictional aliens designed and written by humans with the intent to resemble them in appearance, culture, and just generally overall presentation?
the point of this post was not to discuss the concept of gender among the asari. the point was for me and other sapphic women to daydream about the possibility of suddenly, in some distant fucking galaxy, having the possibility of encountering a vast plethora of diverse media products in which we could potentially see ourselves represented in respectful, non-fetishistic ways, without our identity being the sole focal point of our stories.
You can browse the most popular ones or search for certain colors, themes, and even specific hex codes!
When you find one you like, you can download a wallpaper swatch of it and also select the specific colors it uses to look at more palettes that use those same ones.
A thing I’m thinking tonight is how a lot of the current discourse seems to assume that someone must be Evil and Inhuman and Completely Incapable of Being Reasoned with in order for you to make the decision to cut them out of your life and community.
Like. It feels like a big part of the drive to declare horrible groups as having lost their status to be considered human beings is because people don’t know how to deal with humanity in the people that hurt them; humanity in people that do horrible things.
They have to be not worthy of basic human rights, they have to be not worthy of being within the rules of society, because otherwise you can’t be as cold to them as you need to be for your own safety and well-being.
So here’s a thing.
I love my dad. I believe that he loves me. And I spent *years* thinking this meant he couldn’t possibly be “really” abusing me or I couldn’t possibly be “really” that unhappy.
And my dad, my dad. My dad is a *champion* gaslighter. My dad can make you think up is down. My dad can make you apologize for that thing he did. My dad can make you question your own memory, your own judgement, your own motivations.
People compliment me sometimes, on the thorough way I construct arguments, on how meticulously I go through point by point, addressing every possible angle– and I don’t think these people know that that was the only way I ever learned how to believe my own viewpoints–was when I built my case like a lawyer and closed all the loopholes and carefully documented every single scrap of evidence so I would be sure– sure– *sure.*
And I spent so very long trying wishing for that evidence that would prove he was Really Bad or he Really Didn’t Care or he Really Intended to Hurt Me with those things he did. I had stories in my head of what would finally let me make that break, let me make him not a person, let me make him someone I didn’t love, who didn’t love me.
So here’s the thing.
You don’t need a reason other than that you’re hurting.
You don’t have to know they can’t be reasoned with to not reason with them.
You don’t have to know that they don’t deserve compassion to not offer them yours.
You don’t have to know that their motivations are evil–you don’t have to scry their intentions like tea leaves at all. You can just know that you want to be happy, and that you’re not. You can just know that what you need is incompatible with what they do.
If you’re looking for a reason to go, you can go.
And the thing is, you really *don’t* have to deny their humanity, and you definitely don’t have to abandon your own. You don’t even have to stop loving them, if you don’t want to.
There is no cruelty required to say “enough.” There is no hatred or violent offense needed to draw your line and defend it. There is no obligation from you to either love or to not love, and regardless of either, you do not have to act on it.
Their own love, their intentions, their kindnesses, their complex humanity does not buy them any part of you. You do not owe them your company, you do not owe them your time or attention or your engagement with their arguments–you do not owe them your self.
You can hate, if you want, but you do not have to.
They can be human, and complicated, and worthy of many things beyond basic human dignity, but you do not have to be the one to give those things to them.
There are a million million humans on this planet. They can be one of them.
They can be human and that’s it.
That can be all they get. They can have their life, and their choices, and their ability to be kind or cruel, to be loved or hated, to befriend of drive away. They can have every dignity that you believe that every human in this world should have, and there does not have to be a single one of them that requires you to let them hurt you, to let them hurt others, to let them have anything from you that you do not whole-heartedly want to give.
You can protect yourself. You can go after what you need.
Because you’re a human, too. And they don’t have have to acknowledge that for it to be true.
I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.
Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! – haha I tricked you! Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting!
Lazily exposing belly – still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well.
Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.
Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean: I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company.
Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.
I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they’re so completely different behaviourally.
Thereby showing that the phenomenon that gave use gems like “PIN number” and “ATM machine” (also known as the self-demonstrating RAS syndrome, i.e. “redundant acronym syndrome syndrome”) is actually age-old :).
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