I still get freaked out about turning the sound up to a normal-ish volume (or even on – I used to watch everything with headphones in, but I’ve gotten past that) if whatever I’m listening to might sound violent, or involve sex noises, or be political, or be something you wouldn’t expect someone like me to be listening to, or just generally be anything that might inspire judgement.
I own my own home, now, for about 9 months. Before that I lived – alone – in an apartment for about six years; I sometimes heard my neighbor singing very loudly, occasionally heard their music from the hall, and on one memorable occasion, heard an extremely loud fight in the hall. I never once ever heard the neighbors’ TV. It is therefore reasonable to assume that they could not hear mine.
This did not make me feel any less like it would be just intolerably awful for someone, anyone, to hear what I was watching and have an opinion on it.
It’s a stupid little thing that does not actually affect my everyday life in any limiting way, but it’s still there, this expectation of being belittled and mocked and looked at with disgust. And when I was in the situation where that actually did happen, frequently, I understood that it was obnoxious and not an okay way to be treated. It was a small thing – but a small thing that inspired so much resentment, so much anger.
In summary: even if you know you shouldn’t have to hide, once you learn, it’s hard to unlearn.
proposal to rename executive dysfunction as ‘Bitch Toddler Dysfunction’ since it’s exactly like living with a horrible contrary small child who refuses to cooperate for fun and smacks things out of your hands but unlike a real toddler this one lives in your frontal lobe and if it says you’re not allowed to do laundry you’re unable to do anything about it
me: hey look I know you don’t really like doing homework but this one is just looking at pictures, okay? Do you wanna look at some pictures? We can have a hot cocoa while we do it and!! if we finish this before 4pm we can watch some TV!! How does that sound? :^)
the horrendous little goblin child who has both hands firmly on the levers on my brains control panel that make me move around and do things: *makes fart noises while I’m talking and hammers the button labeled ‘NAPTIME’ until I pass out*
I still can’t get over how Naruto is literally named after the little pink spiral thingies you get in ramen noodles
the western equivalent would be like naming your kid fucking Crouton
It gets better/worse though.
See Uzumaki Naruto is written in kana, but if it were written in kanji instead, it could be written like this: 渦巻鳴門 (search uzumaki and naruto on jisho.org if you want to see for yourself)
Uzumaki = whirlpool Naruto = …also whirlpool (that’s what the fishcake name comes from)
That’s right. Whirlpool Whirlpool. He’s the fucking Moon Moon of shounen heroes.
To add onto/clarify that fishcake name, he’s also named after the Naruto Straits off of Shikoku, which are whirpools that look like the Uzumaki clan symbol (which is obvs supposed to be a whirlpool). So he’s like Whirpool Whirpool McWhirlpool
if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.
Set at the Konoha’s gates when Team 7 and Team 8 are about to depart on the mission to rescue Gaara. Botched mission refers to this one here. (that I have fleshed out more since I posted it!)
Really stuck on this arc, so I thought I’d post a bit of it to motivate me more!
Kiba has come a long way since the Sasuke retrieval mission, his confidence is now built foundations on what he knows he can do, rather than useless arrogance, but that last botched mission had still thrown him. It had made him question if he really is good enough, if that training had meant anything at all in the end if all he did was fail.
Kiba shakes his head, turns around and faces the path ahead of him. He’s done everything he can up until this point, and no shinobi has a completely clean record. Failures happen, and the true test is if you can pull yourself up after those failures.
Kiba’s spent enough time wallowing in his self-deprecating puddle and he won’t get any further if he keeps laying in it.
This is a big mission, an important mission. With the Kazekage kidnapped, Suna is in trouble. Konoha assisting in any way will only strengthen their alliance, and for Kiba to be a part of that is an honour.
Not to mention, they’re dealing with the Akatsuki, whose goals are still a mystery but are obviously in no way, shape or form anything good if they’re kidnapping Jinchuuriki.
He’s been trusted to be a part of this mission, even if Team 7 was just convenient and Team 8 was the only other personnel available.
Kiba failed his last mission but he – they – will not fail this one.
He sends a grin to Shino, who likely rolls his eyes if the little tilt that always accompanies it says anything. Kurenai raises an eyebrow at him, probably questioning why he’s smiling at a time like this.
Naruto yells something about hurrying up that Kiba chooses to ignore.
A man walks up to them and Kiba immediately recognises him. Kiba has never seen Jiraiya before but finds he’s unimpressed. Jiraiya is strong enough to be renown in a multitude of countries, but Kiba finds far more inspiration in his own sensei’s.
Kurenai is a genjutsu prodigy, yet people seem to constantly underestimate her. She is strong but undermined unfairly by other male genjutsu masters because they’ve caused more of a ruckus.
Kurenai is strong, much stronger than what anyone credits her for. But maybe it’s how undermined she is what makes her as amazing as Kiba thinks she is.
Yugao is ANBU. Yugao is the shadows, the dangerous undergrowth that people dismiss. She’ll never be feared around the shinobi world like the Sannin, instead, she works silently and owns and plays fear in a way others can’t. Yugao is what nightmares are made out of. Because people aren’t scared of the dark, people are scared of what’s hiding in it. People like Yugao are what hide in the dark, and people should be terrified.
Anko is bright sparks of furious, untamed strength condensed into one tiny body. She is explosives, the last thing you see as you turn your back on your presumed ‘weak’ opponent. She is fury, and smiling in the face of danger like it’s simple as buttering a piece of bread.
Koharu is wise and strong. Even if her age has rendered her retired, she is far from useless. She has made her mistakes, fallen into ideals that she can now recognise aren’t as what she once thought they were. Her mistakes have had dire consequences, but she is facing them head on without flinching. She bends for no one but herself. Koharu is amazing.
That’s what Kiba sees as inspirational. He doesn’t dislike Jiraiya, he finds he’s just not as impressive as he’d thought, definitely nothing compared to Kurenai, Yugao, Anko and Koharu.
Jiraiya pulls Naruto away to the side and Kiba threads a little more chakra to his ears, improving his already above average hearing.
“Keep yourself in line,” Jiraiya says. “The Akatsuki are after you, so do not do anything hot-headed.”
Naruto presses his lips together and looks away from Jiraiya’s gaze. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” he says. Jiraiya leans a little closer and his face, if possible, becomes even more serious. “Don’t use that jutsu.”
Naruto sighs and brushes him off, muttering affirmations under his breath. Jiraiya nods his head, standing up straighter. Kiba shoots a look at Kurenai and Shino and tries to communicate all his confusion in one look. He’s sure some of it gets across.
Naruto’s been away for a long time, so it makes sense that he’s developed some powerful jutsus in his absence, but obviously, there’s a jutsu that Jiraiya isn’t too sure about.
This mission is important, and Kiba loves Naruto, but if he’s bound to do something stupid on a mission of this much importance then Kiba isn’t sure how much faith he can put into Naruto to keep his head in line.
Kakashi catches his eye and waves him down. Stand down, the sign means. Relax.
Kiba sighs and gets an elbow in the back from Shino. “It’s fine why? Because you have me with you,” Shino says and Kiba doesn’t even have to see his mouth to know there’s a grin spreading across his lips.
“Yeah, whatever,” Kiba brushes him off, waving back to Tsunade, Iruka and Jiraiya. Shino always knows what to say to loosen Kiba up.
Listen, friends, I have to get serious for a second here.
This is Asriel. You may have seen me post about her. Like all good pet owners, I love her. She’s my little baby girl.
And yes, she loves walks! She also loves cuddles and flowers and pets! People have fully stopped their cars on the streets to tell me how cute she is. They stop and ask if they can pet her or hold her. They ask if they can feed her a blade of grass or a clover. And I usually say yes (provided the lawn in question doesn’t use pesticides) because Asriel loves attention and she loves getting a little sun and a little exercise.
But then I always hear it. Every single time I walk her, it’s inevitable. Someone will say, “What a great idea! We should look into getting a bunny!”
STOP
Or at least pause. I’m here to tell you a few things about bunny ownership that are less glamorous than when I walk her in the park.
Rabbits poop. I know what you’re
thinking, you’re thinking, “lol my dog is a poop machine!” but you don’t
get it. If you dismiss this then you have no idea how much a bunny
poops.
This is Asriels litter box after one day. I
came home from work to this. Doesn’t look like a lot? Imagine if I forgot to clean it one day. Picture this doubled. Picture it tripled. I clean her litter box twice a day, three times if you count the one in her sleeping pen. It is required that I do this, or else she will get sick, and so will people who come into my apartment. And on that note
Just because MY bunny is trained, doesn’t mean YOUR bunny can be trained. Not
all rabbits will poop or pee in the litter box. Not all rabbits walk on
a leash. Not all rabbits want to cuddle. Not all rabbits want to be
picked up. You didn’t raise Asriel, and you didn’t see me train her. So you don’t know that I got her at a mere month old (the older a rabbit is, the harder they are to train). You didn’t see me follow her around the apartment for weeks with rubber gloves on. You didn’t see me spray her with a water bottle for trying to eat the carpet. You didn’t see me observe her behavior as carefully as possible so as to conform to her behavior, rather than expecting to train her in the same manner as a cat or a dog.
Rabbits have very specific diets. This isn’t like most pets where you can buy a specific brand of food and leave it at that. Asriel requires a harmonious mix of hay, pellets, vegetables, and fresh greens to keep her healthy and strong. The diets will vary depending on the individual rabbit and breed. ALL rabbits require CONSTANT access to hay for fiber and dental health. Pellets and vegetables (especially carrots, because they are high in sugar) should be given in limited amounts. Going against this diet is DANGEROUS. Digestion problems are very real in rabbits. Fun fact – did you know a rabbit can’t vomit? They have no way of expelling toxic substances aside from allowing their body to (at least attempt to) digest it.
Rabbits eat and chew on everything. This is not a habit you will break them of. It is in their nature. They see a cord hanging from the wall and it looks just like a delicious blade of grass to them. I have heard of rabbits eating entire textbooks, clothes, toys, cords, plastic, chewing on metal. They do not know how to differentiate between your favorite necklace and a tasty piece of celery.
Rabbits are EXPENSIVE. Asriel has to go to a specialized vet who has his office set up out of town. We have to take a cab to get there because no bus lines run there. That’s a $50 cab ride in addition to the $300 vet bill. Having her spayed alone was $350.
Vet visits are NOT optional Just because America doesn’t have any laws requiring rabbits be vaccinated or spayed/neutered, doesn’t mean you can neglect the healthcare of your rabbit. Regular veterinary visits are necessary to detect small issues before they become big ones. You need to seek out a vet who specializes in rabbit care and rabbit surgery. Spaying or neutering your rabbit will prevent hormone-driven behaviors and uterine cancer in female rabbits.
Rabbits need lots of space Bunnies have powerful hind legs that need to stretch, hop, jump, and run. A bunny trapped in a cage all day not only risks stress (which reduces your rabbit’s lifespan), but also depression and even muscular dystrophy. They need exercise and lots of freedom.
Rabbits bite and scratch Even Asriel does. As used as she is to being handled, when she wants down, she’ll let you know quick. They have sharp teeth and will nip if you do something they don’t like. Hell, some rabbits are cranky and will nip for no reason. Not all rabbits like to be handled. Just because Asriel cuddles under your chin doesn’t mean every rabbit will.
“But Typhon!” You may be saying, “Why even keep a rabbit if it’s so much work? Don’t you love your rabbit?”
YES! Asriel is the sweetest bunny and I am the luckiest bunny owner to have her. Dogs and cats are lots of work too, and nobody would argue that it isn’t worth keeping one.
But here’s the thing …
Every year, thousands of rabbits are adopted or purchased as Easter presents.
Every year, thousands of rabbits are abandoned, set free (a death sentence for domestic rabbits), or die because the people who receive them as presents do not know how to care for them.
It breaks my little bunny-loving heart. These are not bad people. I’m sure they wanted the best for their bunny. I’m sure they tried their best and just didn’t expect the commitment, or didn’t know any better.
Adopting a bunny means a commitment of 10 or more years. It is a financial and emotional commitment, and one that you should not take on without some SERIOUS research and preparation. I have sunk thousands of dollars into the care of my bunny, and while I cannot say enough that it is worth every penny, I bought her knowing what I was getting myself into.
So please, please, please say it with me …
Bunnies are not good Easter presents
Bunnies are not good Easter presents
BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EASTER PRESENTS
BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EATER PRESENTS
DO NOT BUY A CHILD A BUNNY FOR EASTER
DO NOT BUY ANYONE A BUNNY FOR EASTER UNLESS THEY ARE FULLY PREPARED TO CARE FOR IT
If you’ve read all of this and you still think you’d like a bunny – great! Goodness knows the shelters will be full of them a few weeks after Easter. I recommend giving https://rabbit.org/ a visit, and perhaps picking up a copy of The Rabbit Handbook by Karen Gendron. You should also do some research on veterinary care in your area, as well as calling up local pet stores to make sure they carry the supplies you’ll need to care for your rabbit. Make sure to get the supplies BEFORE you get the rabbit. No bunny should come home and not have a pen to sleep in.
Bunnies are great pets. They have a wide range of personalities just like cats and dogs. They can be shy, friendly, playful, skittish, cuddly, or nippy. All rabbits are good rabbits. I just beg of you, this Easter season, to remember that they are living creatures. They need constant care and attention, and while it’s well worth the effort, it’s not something to take lightly.
Asriel and I thank you for listening.
Living animals are not “lessons” for your children. It’s not their job to teach your child responsibility. They deserve a happy, fulfilled life with the best of care.
I visited the museum and I heard two bros in the dinosaur exhibit having an earnest discussion about the best way to kill a T-Rex with a sword and what kind of armour should be worn into the battle and they spoke with such passion I really wish the scientific community could have heard them. I’d love to know how palaeontologists would weigh in on The Great Debate.
For instance, was the bro in the weed shorts right? Is it pointless to wear heavy armour when battling a T-Rex? Is it truly better to go into battle naked wielding dual swords? Or was the bro in the backwards cap correct? Should you go for a double-handed sword and iron armour? Will light bouncing off the armour really confuse and blind the beast? Realistically, what protection is armour against a dinosaur? Was Weed Shorts right when he proposed to use his superior agility to slash its tendons and stab the eyes when he brought it down? Or was Backwards Cap right when he said charge and slash open its soft belly?? What is the truth??!??
Hello, palaeontologist-in-training here! Thought I’d have a little think into this because hey, who wants to do coursework on trilobites when you could be considering T. rex instead?
Light and maneuverable is probably best when facing a rex. It’s big and it’s powerful but it’s not going to making any quick sharp turns any time soon.
According to our current estimates, a T. rex would be able to crush a small car with its jaws, so realistically, no amount of armour is gonna protect you if it grabs you.
If the T. rex manages to grab you you’re dead regardless. It could probably eat you within a couple of bites if it was trying.
Figures 1 & 2: Theoretical T. rex bite-force model fucking up a mini. Thank you, Bill Oddie and BBC’s The Truth About Killer Dinosaurs.
As far as armour goes, lighter is better, and at the end of the day isn’t going to mean shit anyway. T. rex can’t slash at you with claws, so it’s bite or bust, and if it bites YOU’RE bust. So, lets say a point to Weed Shorts. Why NOT fight a T. rex butt naked with swords.
T. rex had good binocular vision. Don’t believe Jurassic Park’s lies –T. rex was a hunter and could probably see you brilliantly whether you moved or not.
That said, a T. rex’s eyesight will work about the same as modern birds of prey. Think hawk, or eagle. I reckon light bouncing off anything would be a fairly minor hindrance, or at least, wouldn’t affect it any more than any other hunting bird.
So, using light to blind and confuse the rex? May potentially work but might be hard and wouldn’t do much for long. Don’t rely on this for strategy.
T. rex actually had gastralia, sometimes called ‘belly-ribs’. These protected and supported the internal organs.There would also be some seriously thick abdominal muscles to get through.
Unless you’re planning to do some precision stabbing with a very long sword, chances are you’re not gonna be killing a rex by slicing open it’s stomach. Also, being under its stomach is gonna put you in-reach of the Jaws Of Death.
I’m not sure how easy it would be, or how well it would work, to try and cut a T. rex’s tendons. Theoretically, sounds like it should work. However, you’re gonna need a lot of strength to get through them, probably.
I’d personally cut the throat rather than stab through the eyes once the rex is down, but that’s probably personal preference. Once you’ve felled it, it’s dead either way! A T. rex unable to hunt is a dead T. rex.
Figure 3: The gastralia of a T. rex. Bless u Scott Hartman for your skeletal references.
As far as attack goes, the belly is not as weak a spot as it seems. So, point to Weed Shorts on his execution plan. Sounds pretty solid.
Overall, I’d say that Weed Shorts had the best plan to defeat the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex. If you ever see him again, congratulate him on his solid plan of attack.
My favorite thing about paleontologists (and any scientist really, but paleontologists in particular) is that you can ask them COMPLETELY BATSHIT INSANE questions and by God, they will give you a completely Serious answer.
Also @assassinahsoka this reminds me of your guy who wanted to eat a t rex.
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