Tag: daetur

the-carmevore:

gaymabelpines:

the-carmevore:

unviersity application: what are your three best qualities?
me: im gay i have soft hair and sometimes i cry because i love my friends

“I’m gay” = I am confident in myself and my sexuality; “I have soft hair” = I take care of myself and my body well, and put effort into my appearance; and “Sometimes I cry because I love my friends” = I have a kind and compassionate heart 

there you go thats three amazing and wonderful things about you isnt that grand!!!!! good luck with those applications and live your dream!!!!!!!!

this is the best response i’ve gotten on this post so far im gonna cry i love you

whyequalsemexplusbee:

quantum-quinn:

whyequalsemexplusbee:

My favorite moment with my D&D group so far

They met a Demon at a crossroads, he said they had to make a deal with him or he would steal their souls. The Fighter was like, “Hey can you just wait for 5 seconds for me?” 

Demon’s like: “Alright.” 

Five seconds later the Fighter says “Alright our deal is complete” 

???

“What do you mean our deal is complete?” said the Demon

“Well I asked you to wait 5 seconds, then you agreed. Since you waited 5 seconds, that means our deal is complete right?”

The Demon is in shock, and so am I, the DM. This fighter just out-tricked a freakin’ demon deal by telling the demon to cool his heels for a moment I couldn’t believe it.

And this is when the demon decides to becoming a recurring pest to the party, or a legitimate threat

He actually did, he sent a “bounty hunter” chain devil named Gnev after the party.

The Bard seduced him.

artekka:

baronfulmen:

araceil:

sweetlyminiaturesublime:

k-lionheart:

ralkana:

alykat86:

bittyblueeyes:

nominanescio:

joestoyes:

unironicallyenthusiasticknitter:

dafezgirl:

thomas-is-so-vine-and-kind:

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over

“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put

“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into

“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.

“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.

“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.

“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.

JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE

“Don’t you shout at me” to the till whenever I don’t hit the right button and it beeps shrilly at me.

Report: humans seem to believe that inanimate objects possess a spirit of some sort, and will often address them thinking the item will hear and understand. This makes our previous observations about the joy they experience when blowing things up quite disturbing.

Resistentialism is a jocular theory to describe “seemingly spiteful behavior manifested by inanimate objects”,[1] where objects that cause problems (like lost keys or a runaway bouncy ball) are said to exhibit a high degree of malice toward humans. The theory posits a war being fought between humans and inanimate objects, and all the little annoyances that objects cause throughout the day are battles between the two. The concept was not new in 1948 when humorist Paul Jennings coined this name for it in a piece titled “Report on Resistentialism”, published in The Spectator that year and reprinted in The New York Times. 

The slogan of Resistentialism is “Les choses sont contre nous” (“Things are against us”).