George sighed. He’d been in this god-forsaken prison for who knows how long. When the Eglic attacked the colony on Zedlum-8B, they had been swift and effective. He didn’t know how many had survived, but too many hadn’t. The colony had been wiped out.
Why? Who knew. He’d overheard the guards, who spoke about intense radio interference coming from Earth. It seemed they didn’t like loud noises. It was driving George a little stir-crazy. Every time he spoke above a whisper, the guards cracked down on it. Every. Freaking. Time.
George got up and started pacing, his shoes clacking against the floor. It was the only noise the Eglic guards wouldn’t punish him for. He’d been electrocuted by the guards’ spears numerous times for making noise, but it was worth it to banish the silence. It was so… oppressive.
The colony had been full of sound and life. Here, for all George knew, he was alone. He had little to no idea where he was or why, and of course, the guards weren’t allowing any contact with the outside world. For all he knew, he was going to die here- so what did it even matter?
Maybe there were other humans here, humans from the colony on Zedlum-8B- but they would never know he was here. He’d never know they were there.
Then, he got an idea. If there were other humans in this place, they’d be just as lonely, and they’d respond. And if no one responded, he’d know he was alone.
George took a deep breath. He’d seen several guards walk past his door on the way to their equivalent of a “lunch break”. This was as good a time as any to try.
He stopped pacing in the center of his cell and took a deep breath. He stomped twice on the floor, and clapped once, then waited a beat.
Stomp. Stomp. Clap!
Again.
Stomp. Stomp. Clap!
And again.
Stomp. Stomp. Clap!
And…
“What are you doing?” There was a guard at the door. George froze.
Stomp. Stomp. Clap!
That hadn’t been George.
The guard whirled around to face another door. Someone had responded.
There was another human here!
George took up the beat again. After a few more rounds, he could pick up three distinct claps. Then four. Then more. He’d had no idea there were so many humans here.
He could have cried, but the guard had been joined by two more. George watched as their faces turned puce.
“What do we do? They’ve never done this!” one asked another.
“Someone tell the warden!”
“Silence! All of you!” a third called out. But it was far too late for that to stop anyone.
STOMP. STOMP. CLAP! STOMP. STOMP. CLAP!
It wasn’t just this hallway, either. As the beat grew stronger, George could hear humans from all over the prison adding to it. Rattling bars. Pounding walls. The Eglic were running everywhere, trying to stop it, completely ineffectual. Confused.
“What is this? WHAT IS THIS?”
George decided it was time to kick this up a notch. He was so glad he’d memorized the verses to this song.
“Buddy, you’re a boy, make a big noise, playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday…”
Several more voices from all directions, everyone who knew the words, sung out the next lines.
“You got MUD on your FACE, you BIG DISGRACE! Kicking your can all over the place!”
And every human voice shouted, loud enough to rock the prison:
“WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!”
CLAP! THUD, THUD, CLAP!
“WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!”
CLAP! THUD, THUD, CLAP!
“Get the riot gear!” someone called.
The door to George’s cell flew open. “Here’s the one who started it!” Two guards dragged him out of the cell as he started the second verse.
“Buddy, you’re a young man, hard man, shouting in the street, gonna take on the world some d-Agh!”
A guard slapped him in the face… but silencing him didn’t stop anything. Others took up the verse.
“You got BLOOD on your FACE, you BIG DISGRACE! Waving your banner all over the place! Sing it!”
“WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!”
George laughed out loud as the guards forced him ahead of them at spear point.
A situation has arisen at the prison on Zedlum-7F. Nineteen cycles ago, a Humin captive from their Zedlum-8B colony began an ancient Humin war cry during the rest period for the guards normally stationed in his area. The substitutes reacted quickly, but the war cry was continued by nearly every Humin in the facility. Standard protocol for prison riots dictates seizing and punishing the ringleaders via nonlethal injections, but the instigator, Humin Jorj, seems unrepentant. The riot lasted fifteen minutes before it could be quieted.
Every two days or so, the Humins riot again with different chants. Some speak of nonsense, such as igniting rainfall. Others speak of places presumably on their home world, such as a “why emcee ay”. Different Humins instigate these riots every day, and not all Humins participate in any given riot. We cannot find a pattern.
All guards and nonhuman inmates are showing signs of anxiety. These riots seem to quiet themselves after a few minutes, but if action is not taken, they may escalate. Please advise.
Jervod Agnil
Warden of Prison 279 on Zedlum-7F
____________
I actually have to thank you for the new policy on uncredited stories. It gave me the chance to rewrite this. I like the rewrite better.
I imagine that someday, after whatever problems the Eglic and Humanity have are sorted out, the Eglic will ask about the Human battle cry. The Humans will have no idea what they are talking about until an Eglic starts the stomp-clap thing, and then all the Humans in the room will join in, totally freaking out the Eglic.
good definition, but it technically does still include cereal
what if cereal…. IS soup
CEREAL IS SOUP
this definition technically includes like….pudding and yogurt too, tho, i think
they said “much of the time.” there are also soups that don’t contain any of those things, e.g.:
soups that are broth only
soups that only contain noodles
matzo ball soup
soup contains water. there ain’t no water in fuckn cereal
Milk is approximately 87% water
If I may play devils advocate, cereal could also be considered a salad, with the dry cereal being the main meal, and the milk being a dressing or condiment. Before yall wanna talk about how salads only consist of vegetables, may I remind you of fruit salad, potato salad, pasta salad, bean salad, and the ugly cousin, jello salad.
yeah well my body is 60% water but u don’t see me chillin in a bowl with some carrots u feel
So, hot cereals (oatmeal, cream of wheat, etc) are forms of porridge, ie grains cooked in either a milk or water preparation. Lexically, porridge derives from pottage, which is unquestionably a soup.
Cold cereal is trickier as it has no stage of being cooked in the liquid prior to being served, nor is the liquid cooked beforehand the way most soup broths are (pasteurization is a technically different process from my understanding; I’m also not getting into the hairy subject of the preparation of milk substitutes).
I mean, it’s weird to think of cereal as a soup, but I’m not going to state for sure it isn’t.
Cereal is absolutely a soup. A weird, lazy breakfast soup.
Theoretically, you could argue that the time of day the food is consumed is the key. I don’t think there are any breakfast soups that aren’t cereal or porridge.
Pho is traditionally a breakfast food, I think. And some people drink broth in the morning instead of tea or coffee.
Things heating up in the soup fandom
reblogging as a linguist, to illustrate one of the basic problems one encounters in semantics
my body is 60% water but u don’t see me chillin in a bowl with some carrots u feel
no i dont want to be a billionaire to live a lavish lifestyle i want to be a billionaire to be financially secure and have enough money to give people things and support charities and fund kickstarters and leave hundred dollar tips
My lavish dream lifestyle: 200% tips at IHOP and throwing struggling artists a couple hundred bucks to sketch my latest asshole OC. I buy my cats better food. I get new underwear twice a year, including a new bra. I have my jeans hemmed, and buy name-brand crackers. Nobody I know ever has to worry about a vet bill again. I quietly bankroll surgery and binders and electrolysis for every struggling trans person on Tumblr. The zoo near me builds a 300% larger reptile house and names it the Wigglesworth Von Snakeface Rept-o-Rama, and I hire a Great Dane ninja to shit on Trump’s Hollywood star every day and post the picture to Facebook and Twitter. Snakes manifest in nazis’ houses. They are made of red-hot chains and never stop screaming. My skin is clear. I sit on my front porch and drink tea. Someone hands me a hamburger.
she is in romo with a rabbit because he makes her laugh and aside from using her looks to get things out of people she literally never once shows interest in anything or anyone sexually through the entire movie and is clearly appalled when anyone makes advances towards her like there is canonical evidence that jessica rabbit from the classic motion picture who framed rogger rabbit is an asexual character
I am here as fuck for this. Jessica Rabbit for new asexual icon.
“She can’t be asexual because she’s hot tho”
“I can only see her as a sexual object so I can’t imagine her not wanting to have sex with me.”
I’ve always remembered the line “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way” as Jessica’s admission that while sexualized, she isn’t inherently a sexual entity.
I mean hell, literally, her line before is “You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.”, to which Eddie responds; “You don’t know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.”
I think that’s pretty damning evidence to her asexuality. The whole plot point with Jessica is how everyone is either convinced she’s sleeping with every human and toon around, or why does she stay faithful to Roger.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit does a great job at satirizing Hollywood/American culture and ideals when it comes to appearances. It also does a great job at hiding some really well thought out challenges to how we look at others in plain sight.
I completely believe that Jessica Rabbit is an asexual romantic (hetero/bi/pan/etc not sure, and to be honest, I don’t know if that part is important, as she’s married to the toon she loves).
I LOVE this headcanon ❤
This is important!
This headcanon is just so perfect I had to draw it
#JessicaRabbitForAsexualIcon
YES
YES
YEEEESSS
I haven’t seen this post in a thousand years and it’s gotten EVEN MORE EXCELLENT.
This is a link to a word replacer extension for Chrome (link) and this is a link to the same word replacer for Firefox (link)
This will change your life.
Two days ago I downloaded this and set it to change the word ‘qu.eer’ to ‘q-word’. It’s a little funny looking at times, because there will be posts on my dash like “roses are red, my skin is clear, rose from the new star wars movie is q-word” and i have urls show up on my dash as disq-wordse, but it’s functional and it makes life so much better.
I know that blacklisting isn’t an option. I know that blacklisting means you are locking yourself out of a community you need access to. So this is honestly the best solution for everyone involved. You don’t get that sinking feeling in your chest every time you see the word, and your mutuals don’t have to feel like they need to censor their identities.
backup blogging platform 